Made in China

Even things Made in China originated in Spain. Everything with importance came from Spain.

About 30 minutes ago, Diego and his brother, Pablo, began throwing trivial facts about their heritage at me. I am (note the current tense denoting that this is continuing) an innocent bystander taking painful bullets of Spanish pride. Just kidding. The only thing that's painful is the cramp in my side I have from my laughing so hard.

Quoting the two of them:

-Why is it 'Florida' and not "flower?"

-Why is "Sacramento" not "sacrament?"

-Why is "San Francisco" not "Saint Francis?"

-"Colorado?" Hah. It doesn't get more Spanish than that.

-Martin Sheen is really an "Estevéz" and his brother Charlie is "Carlos," of course.

-Rita Hayword was born Margarita.

-The first people to land on America (Florida and Alaska) were Spanish. They just sold it.

-ChupaChups are from Spain and some designwork was done by the famous Dalí.

-Did you ever realize that in all world maps, Spain is in the center of the world? Morocco is, too, but nobody cares.

The following list is what I've learned myself.

The best _____ come from Spain:

-wine and cava ("It's

-oranges (Valencian)

-ceramic (Lladró is Valencian)

-musicians (Rodrigo is also from Valencia)

-walnuts (Diego's grandma says that California's walnuts can't even compare)

-shoes (e.g. Campo. I'll actually agree with this one)

-furniture (never forget that Italians buy the structure from Valencia and upholster it themselves and sell it as their own. Bastards!)

-olive oil

-ham and other meats that I can't import legally into the States

Also, don't forget the soccer team. They won the 2010 World Cup when I was in Russia. I'm grateful that there were only 2 Spaniards in the city at the time, otherwise I would have shot myself in the funny bone. I'm tired of Iniesta; the fact that I remember his name sickens me.

This is real.