Remember me

Everybody has their own way of commemorating an event or person. If a certain someone chooses taxidermy over a traditional burial to remember her dog, so be it. If Russians want to keep their statues of Lenin in every city possible, it's their choice. We cannot judge. But we can silently giggle on the inside.

If you haven't noticed, I try not to post about famous landmarks and write about things you can find on Wikipedia. 1. It's boring. 2. The pictures you will find in a Google search will be of higher quality anyway.

The following pictures are landmarks, if you will.

Some people pay a high price for a place with a view of the sea, ocean, or river. For me, having a view of the rocket from my bedroom window is priceless. This rocket was launched, but it failed. Now, it stands in the center of the city for all to see and to wonder about the greatness (in all meanings of the word) of the cosmos.

This was taken back when I was visiting Rostov-Na-Dony. In Samara, we have a small airplane sitting in the middle of a traffic circle to symbolize something...great. In Rostov, they have a farm machine on a pedestal. The city is the production center of these farm machine things.

While we're on the subject of random things in Russia, this is not an uncommon sight in Samara. I was having sushi and saw this from my window. I'll accept this, too.

Russian paradox (guest post)

Soviet propaganda poster. "Don't talk too much!"

In the Soviet Union, women were given all the rights that others had to fight for in most western countries: right to vote, right to divorce, even the right to abort... In Russia, women have had the same rights as men for a long time. But that doesn't mean they are equal: it seems to me that Russia skipped the feminism step.

For me, who grew up in France, the status of women in the society has been one of the most shocking things in Russia. It’s hard to explain because there is nothing very obvious: most women work, drive, a lot of them raise children on their own, etc. But they are expected to be always pretty, to marry and have children rather young and if they don’t, it’s strange. I was told once that if a Russian woman is not married and does not have children at 26, there must be something wrong with her. At school, when two children fight for a seat, the teacher says: "come on, you're a boy, you should let the girl have the seat" and to me, this is shocking. A Russian friend of mine told me that in the city where she lived before, women were often beaten by their husband and it was considered normal. This same friend explained that she thought Russian men were often spoiled by their mothers and expected the same from their wives.

When I talked about this with Russian men, they told me that this was probably due to the fact that Russian women were given all those rights without having to fight for them. When I talked about it with women my age, they told me they didn’t see where the problem was: after all, women and men are different and it’s normal if their status in the society is different too. They said that having a man “protecting” them is actually comfortable and if that means they can’t be his equal, then be it. And because I grew up in a country where I was taught that despite their differences, men and women are able to do the same things and have the same life, to me, this is sad.

On the other hand, women have always played an important role in the Russian society and all Russians will tell you that they are strong and that in a lot of families, things are working thanks to them. So why do a lot of them behave like they are weak and subordinate? For me, this remains one of the biggest Russian paradoxes.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

A photo taken by a friend while we were walking past a wedding in Kazan.

Americans are prude and yet, there's a nasty stereotype about American girls being "easy" when abroad. Americans, compared to European countries, are conservative. We don't say 'bad words' on public TV or radio, we censor nudity, and the sexual education in our schools teach abstinence-only methods. It's not surprising that Sex and the City 2 still has a following, regardless of how bad it is (it seriously embarassed me to watch). It's not that surprising when a small-town girl gets a little wild on her vacation to Europe, is it? Let's compare that to the freedom children feel when they go away to camp. Some just want to act out, but not all. Definitely not all.

When I'm abroad, my greatest culture shocks come from romantic interactions between girls/women and boys/men. We are conservative in America. On a vacation in Chicago, I saw a couple passionately kissing outside. I rolled my eyes and said, "They need to get a room." Shortly after, I was told that the woman just accepted the man's proposal. Whoops. Public displays of affection (PDA) is not a widely-accepted concept for us.

In Russia, I was shocked to see how romantically young couples act together. Argentine couples were also very publically affectionate, but it seemed to me that it was more...carnal. Overall, this is probably connected to the fact that many Russian couples get married in their early twenties.

At camp, I saw a kissing game played by young teenagers while we were waiting for lunch. It was an innocent, friendly version of the wildly popular 'Spin the bottle.' To play the game, they stood in a big circle and one person was in the middle. Those who made up the ring sang a chant and walked in a circle while the person in the center closed his/her eyes and pointed to a random person. Only the person of the opposite sex was allowed to the enter the circle. When there was a couple in the circle, they stood back to back. Everyone else counted to three. At three, the couple would turn their heads to one side. If they turned it to the same side, they'd have to kiss each other on the cheek. If they turned to a different side, they'd only have to hug. It's a simple children's game but it got me thinking a lot about our different cultures.

Another night, there was a show that picked 10 boys and 10 girls and made 10 random pairs of the two. This show was a competition to pick out the best pair. The tasks each pair received was to role-play and improvise a short sketch. For example, "Act out how a couple first meets in school," "act out how a couple first meets at the bus stop," "act out the first time a couple says 'I love you' in a movie," etc. The second part of the competition was when all the boys left and the girls sat in a row. One by one, a boy came in blindfolded and had to figure out which girl was his partner by feeling the girls' knees. Of course, this is completely innocent--but I only imagined all the lawsuits that would've been filed if this game was played in an American camp.

Remember that time at camp?

Going away to camps are relatively popular here in Russia. For children, it's beneficial for them to get out of the city, breathe fresh air, and socialize. For parents, sending their kids away to camp for a few days or week is probably the closest you can get to selling your child. I'm 100% sure that my parents were going to donate me (tax-exempt purposes) when I was younger. It's natural.

In winter, I agreed to do a full week (every day counts, believe me) working as an English teacher in a linguistic camp. When kids are on vacation and out of school, studying is the last thing they want to be doing. Of course, there are exceptions. I will admit now that the only sleepaway camps I went to were academic--one for yearbook (yes, it exists) and another for 'writing the expository essay.' When children are out of the house, out of their parents' surveillance range, they feel free. I, as the teacher/counselor, felt trapped. After that week, I said 'no' to working with children in mass numbers. It's just not my thing and I accept that.

Last week, I spent five days at another linguistic camp. This was obviously against my free will and I received no compensation for it, but my visa was being compromised (if you want the full story about visas in Russia, contact me privately). I had worked with these children before at a day camp, but only for about 2 hours a day--far from 24 hours a day. I tried to be optimistic about it: I'd improve my Russian, I can get fresh air, I won't have to cook/spend money, I can be unplugged, etc. The air was fresh, but full of may flies; I was well-fed, but the food was terrible (and I can usually eat anything); and there were no activities at this camp.

I'm not saying anything about communism in Russia, but you can still feel the culture left behind from the Soviet era. When I (involuntarily) volunteered at the day camp, I did my job well. Because I did it well, I was invited (read: forced) into volunteering at the summer camp. I lost the motivation to do exceptional work the second time around.

Besides improving my language skills, I had a lot of time to be observant. In America, we try so hard to be politically correct that it makes us prejudice to people who are not so politically correct (i.e. those who use the metric system). During English class, we practiced paying compliments to each other. One girl turned to her partner and said, "You are...um...BIG!" She wasn't saying it to be funny because it was the only adjective that came to her mind. In another activity, a student described a classmate, and the others had to guess who it was. One description was, "He has short, dark hair. He is plump." One of the boys answered enthusiastically, "Oh! That's me for sure!" Kids are funny, but not funny enough to convince me to do this again.

Below is a video clip of our kids participating in the camp's talent show. It's cute, and now the song is stuck in my head.

Snow in June

This is nature's cruel joke on Russia. It's summer (I think) and getting pretty hot, but the grounds are covered in white.

It even looks like it's snowing with the dandelion fuzzies floating through the air. Fortunately for me, my allergy attacks have slowed down tremendously. Now, it's I'm battling carniverous mosquitoes that eat people through jeans (seriously).

I found the culprit. This is my nephew, Devin, successfully blowing dandelion fuzzies my way. Thank you, love.

There are different regulations here. Coming from the US, I am accustomed to all of our rules and standards. Here, I notice that there are no rules or that they're just a little more relaxed about it. Again, there's no wrong or right way--it's a different culture.

Back home, we have dandelions, but dandelions are weeds. We kill weeds. That's probably why there are fewer at home compared to in Samara. We probably have some public works regulation to kill weeds, since we have something for everything. In Russia, you can sell food on the street without a license. Meat isn't refrigerated, but lies there on a table stand outside in the open air (you can also find dried fish, fruits, vegetables, and sunflower seeds for sale). I doubt the department of health follows anyone around (but someone needs to call Upton Sinclair). Bicycle and motorcycle riders don't have to wear helmets, although the traffic and drivers are a bit crazy here. In cars, you don't have to wear a seatbelt, but you must appear to be wearing one. I mean, you can just lay a belt over your lap and they're satisfied. Roads are rough out here because of the harsh winters--that's understandable. Rather than fixing the roads, money is spent on painting new lines on curbs and on the road.

Okay. I accept the differences we have between our regulations, but Samara needs weed killers.

Random in Russia part 13456789034987651

If you go to this cafe with your motorcycle, you can get a 15% off discount. Score!

By the way, this wasn't a biker bar. It was a quiet little cafe/pizzeria with Asian-like decorations.

Oooh ba-LA-LAika!

Russians have more stereotypes of themselves than Americans have of them. One of them is that all Russians play the balalaika, a traditional stringed Russian instrument (like a guitar). Needless to say, this stereotype is false because (reality check!) not everyone is talented enough.

I went to the philharmonic to watch a balalaika concert by Alexei Arkhipovsky. This man is an extraordinary musician and shows how versatile the instrument is. While playing, he had a childish mannerism and lightheartedness that made the concert that much more enjoyable. I expected to hear folk and traditional music, but it was more towards the 'experimental' genre. Though I am usually uninterested in that sort of music, I was enthralled by his interpretations on the balalaika.

Overall, my impressions of Russia and Russian people are positive. There are a few exceptions to this, but it'd be unfair to let that ruin my outlook. The concert tickets are not open seated, so every ticket-holder is assigned a specific seat. The first ten minutes were interrupted by obnoxious and boisterous guests who could not civilly settle a dispute. Two people entered late (by a few minutes) and found their seats already occupied. The people who “stole” the seats argued that it was a “you snooze, you lose” deal. This argument was so loud that the musician had to stop playing. At that point, there was no right or wrong because they were all disrespectful to everyone else.

Now, I'm not writing this to say that Russians are rude—that depends on the individual, of course. I'm just giving a reminder to be mindful of each other. It really is that simple.