Russian paradox (guest post)

Soviet propaganda poster. "Don't talk too much!"

In the Soviet Union, women were given all the rights that others had to fight for in most western countries: right to vote, right to divorce, even the right to abort... In Russia, women have had the same rights as men for a long time. But that doesn't mean they are equal: it seems to me that Russia skipped the feminism step.

For me, who grew up in France, the status of women in the society has been one of the most shocking things in Russia. It’s hard to explain because there is nothing very obvious: most women work, drive, a lot of them raise children on their own, etc. But they are expected to be always pretty, to marry and have children rather young and if they don’t, it’s strange. I was told once that if a Russian woman is not married and does not have children at 26, there must be something wrong with her. At school, when two children fight for a seat, the teacher says: "come on, you're a boy, you should let the girl have the seat" and to me, this is shocking. A Russian friend of mine told me that in the city where she lived before, women were often beaten by their husband and it was considered normal. This same friend explained that she thought Russian men were often spoiled by their mothers and expected the same from their wives.

When I talked about this with Russian men, they told me that this was probably due to the fact that Russian women were given all those rights without having to fight for them. When I talked about it with women my age, they told me they didn’t see where the problem was: after all, women and men are different and it’s normal if their status in the society is different too. They said that having a man “protecting” them is actually comfortable and if that means they can’t be his equal, then be it. And because I grew up in a country where I was taught that despite their differences, men and women are able to do the same things and have the same life, to me, this is sad.

On the other hand, women have always played an important role in the Russian society and all Russians will tell you that they are strong and that in a lot of families, things are working thanks to them. So why do a lot of them behave like they are weak and subordinate? For me, this remains one of the biggest Russian paradoxes.