Adventure in Americaland

While living in Russia, I learned so much about Russian culture. Makes sense. I concurrently learned about Spanish culture, history, their influence on American history and that they have a high quality of furniture** and shoes.

Meet Diego. He is from Spain. He lives in Russia and spreads the language of his glorious country. Diego came to America for the very first time. He is a man very proud of his heritage and country. During this visit, part of my goal was to prove how great my country is. This is his story.

There are a lot of foreigners--immigrants and tourists alike--in America. To witness the very first moments of a landing on our soil is very special. By special, I mean absolutely humorous. Because he was only here for a short time, I had to pack a lot of America into ten days. The following is a recap of things that made an impression on him:

-A school bus. That was the first thing that caught his eye. He was amused that we actually have a yellow bus that goes around "collecting" students to go to school.

-Nightlife. He was kind of annoyed with the dress codes with some places. The first night, my friends took us to a bar that was very reminiscent of a college party, as seen in popular films. He noted that our population of 'Jersey Shore' characters are very similar to the people in Valencia.

We don't know who these people are but it was taken in a NYC bar. This is embarrassing, isn't it?

-Albany. Please understand that New York City is a city within New York State. Albany is the state capital. Diego was very shocked to see how dangerous Albany is. I was also very shocked to see how dangerous Albany is. One wrong turn is all it takes.

Beautiful brownstone houses off Lark Street in downtown Albany. This is part of the safer side of Albany as we've been told.

-Home security. Rather, the lack of home security compared to Russian and Spanish homes. My windows are locked, but aren't barred or have barbed wires on them. Although I have a sliding door (for example) with a bar that prevents people from opening it, he was not convinced that it would deter robbers. I have two locks on my front door, but for him, it doesn't compare to having a billion locks like in Russia. He was very jumpy for the first few hours in my apartment.

-Suburbia. This just doesn't exist elsewhere. He was surprised how many houses we have because he is used to people living in flats on top of each other. He was also in shock with how many cars we have in the US.

For some reason, it was amusing to him that some businesses and offices are run in buildings that look like houses. My college roommate still finds it strange that some doctors and dentists run their practices from their homes.

This is a view from the Corning Tower's observation deck in Albany, NY. We are looking towards the east over the Hudson River. Diego wants to show his friends that we have highways that are shaped like this.

-Demographics. He knows that the majority of my friends are immigrants or offspring of immigrants, but he didn't really expect so many "non-Americans" living here.

My American friends. Besides Diego, this also excludes Avani (lower left). She was naturalized.

There was a sign in Russian at the tiger exhibit at the Bronx Zoo. The only tiger I saw in Samara was at the local zoo. That tiger did not look like he had the strength to do anything.

-Everyone speaks Spanish. That was annoying in proving a point. He said, "Spain doesn't need to come here to conquer your country because our former colonies already are." He was referring to the Hispanic population.

A moving truck in the Bronx most likely owned by Spanish-speakers. He found this hilarious. I found it hilarious that the front was decorated with American flags.

-American weddings are extravagant and super expensive.

We went to my cousin's wedding. There, he witnessed a room full of Asians, the electric slide, and cocktail hour. Congratulations to Bert and Maricel. Hooray!

-People are generally nice here. Store clerks, gas attendants, and other service workers are much more pleasant to deal with.

-Toys 'R' Us is an American company. It made sense when he realized that the name is in English.

Cindy and Diego in the Times Square Toys 'R' Us store. His expression is very similar to the one I took of my dog when I dressed her up as a pirate. Not happy.

-Go Diego Go! is a popular character. My nephew actually prefers him over me. Fact.

Souvenirs

I'm not one to judge because from Russia, I brought desserts, bacon flavored chips, tea and cookies as souvenirs. Besides the usual t-shirts and shot glasses he bought as souvenirs, he brought home (for his mommy and the rest of his family):

-Ziploc bags. Spanish technology hasn't caught up yet with the zipping feature.

-Sink drain catcher. For the kitchen because it's brilliant.

-Pop-tarts. Chocolate fudge flavored. He got hooked after I took him to he Pop-Tarts store in NYC.

-Granola bars.

-Pill organizer cases with the days of the week and times.

It's one thing to have an experience in the US, but nothing tops it off better than being knighted with a 'Bronx name.' I've never heard anything like this before, but that's because I'm not hip. I convinced Diego to buy a CD from some kid promoting his work on the streets.

Apparently, 'D-Boogie' is a cooler name than Diego.

**Italian furniture isn't really "Italian" because the smart Italians buy the constructed furniture frames from Spain and upholster it themselves, therefore passing it as Italian. Interpret this piece of information as you'd like.