Special Edition Post: Hot Stuff

If you don't understand Russian, read the cover of any issue of any fashion magazine. There, that's what it says. Honestly, magazines are great for language learning because it doubles as a picture-book when you are tired of reading.

According to the response from the last post, I figured I could give you guys a little more taste of fashion. Of course, the street is the best teacher if you are a Sartorialist follower, but magazines can also give you a good insight into culture.

There's a HUGE difference between women-targeted magazines in the US and in the Russian Federation even though they share the same publishers. Here, everything is written in cyrillic (laugh here). There's no real difference from one month's issue to the next month. This month you can find 10 ways to do your hair, but next month, look at the 10 different looks J.Lo had one weekend!!!! So cool!

There are Glamours, Vogues, and Cosmopolitan magazines here and most likely, the information is shared internationally. Some major points that I'd like to mention about Russian versions:

- Their 'man of the month' is naked, always with a strategically placed item hiding his assumed boy parts

- There are articles about children and parenthood (I gagged a little)

- They have a travel section (pleasant surprise)

Otherwise, everything is pretty much the same. Reading is fundamental!

Fee fai 'faux' fum...

Here are current trends that I see in Samara. Some people can of course pull of these styles very well, while others...don't. Unfortunately, these photos are pulled from the web because it's less offensive that way.

1. Indian/Middle Eastern-inspired pants

This is a unisex piece that you can see both men and women wear. At first, I thought that they were ridiculous until I tried on these silly pants. They are as convenient and airy as skirts but still has the privacy of pants.

Actually, anything resembling South Asian or Middle Eastern (in some cases, they aren't distinct, like "Asian") patterns are pretty trendy, too.

2. The Man Purse- I thought it was sweet to see men carrying their ladies' purses, but it was something else when I realized that men also carry their own bags. For the most part, there's nothing feminine about it and it seems to be purely for convenience. Even the burliest of burliest 'gopniks' (to be explained in a future post) can be seen wearing a man purse. These man purses vary in sizes and can be anything between a large messenger bag to a fanny pack (yes) to a camera case-sized bag.

3. Dyed hair- Hair dying is an international trend, but the trend I witness is slightly different than in the US and closer to the one I saw while in South America. Colors are a bit more...pronounced. Black is blacker than night, red is like the red in a rainbow, blonde is beyond-bleached platinum, and gray tends to end up like lavender (seriously).

4. Straight, dense bangs (or 'fringe' if you've chosen to learn British English)- Trends usually become trends because they are stylish and cute. Then a few too many people follow the trend and it loses its charm. Most common here is blacker than black hair with a very, very dense and straight bang. It's cute in a helmet way.

5. Ankle sandals- I tend to agree with footwear that you can run in 'just incase.' So do many women in Russia. Of course, these sandals come in various heel lengths from paper-thin flat to skyscraper high.

It's so hard to keep up with US trends while I'm abroad and I have no idea what to listen to or what to watch. A few months away does that to you, I guess. The good news is that I'm coming home in one and a half weeks. The bad news is that the blog posts will soon end. Look out, America, mama's coming home!!!!

War and no peace

I survived a Russian winter. A winter so harsh even locals admitted that it was cold. I mistakenly thought that once the weather warmed up, I would be fine. Little did I know that I would be at war against nature.

It's hot. Yeah yeah, I know that cities in the mid-Atlantic region of the US are breaking records, but at least there's air conditioning. Here, it's just hot. Even when it's not that hot, the sun is unkind and merciless.

To battle the heat, we eat ice cream. It instantly soothes the mind, body, and soul. The alternative is to jump into the river. It's a longer-lasting kind of refreshing.

One night, a group of us went to meet at the river and some jumped in. It was too inviting and I couldn't refuse, so I spontaneously jumped in. Some people say that the Volga is dirty, so I figured that swimming at night would be better so I couldn't see the filth. A couple of pansies (from Spain, of course) complained that the water was too cold, but it was warmer than any ocean I've ever been in. Swimming in the river at night (no tan lines) trumps ice cream.

Heat 0, Tammie 1. But there are the mosquitos...

Insects in Russia are large. I've seen bees 2 inches long and the mosquitos look like evil-fairies. Every night, I become a mosquito slayer. Yes, I was raised not to kill, but I justify it with the laws of karma. They bite me and inflict pain upon me (I learned that I am allergic to their bites, it's gross), so I can squash them. Let it be, it's MY law of karma. I am paranoid of being bit because it's so uncomfortable (pain, not itch).

My combat tactics

- plug-in repellant in my bedroom that I never fail to use

- a fan above my bed powered on high to blow the mosquitos away.

- sleeping under a blanket to physically protect me from the fighters

- a binaural music track to drown out the buzzing noises

Believe it or not, this only has an 80% efficacy rate.

Tammie & Sarah in Russia: 7 Ways to be a tourist

Introduction

We've spent a few days in St. Petersburg and we did a lot of touristy things. Of course, we've learned a lot about the city and its history, but we especially learned about tour groups and the different kinds of tourists there are.

1. Geriatric - This group can be very lively and energetic, but necessarily slow. They are usually spotted with custom orthotics and sometimes with a walking device. Geriatrics are thoughtful people because they tend to buy many useless souvenirs for their family and friends.

Everyone in this group walked around the Hermitage in St. Petersburg with their cane/chair devices. Upon arrival to the exhibit, they'd all unfold their chairs and lounge to listen to the tour guide. This group is the precursor to the wheelchair tour group.

2. Asian - I am referring to Asians in general. Those from the South Asian regions tend to travel in large groups (usually a family). Other Asians (Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc.) usually travel with friends and maybe with a family member. They are usually quiet but like to mumble under their breaths about other people or about how tired they are. The younger persons falling in this category usually take photos with specific poses.

A group of Asian tourists in traditional tourist garments posing in front of St. Basil's Cathedral in Moscow.

3. School groups - The average age is 16 years old, but their level of boredom depends on their age. The older they are, the less interested they are in traveling, but the more interested they are in each other. Boys usually make inappropriate comments, jokes, and gestures about the sight at hand. Girls tend to seek attention, mostly by giggling at the boys.

4. Couples - This group varies and it is difficult to profile these tourists. It can be anything from a first date to fifty years of marriage. Either way, they tend to be absorbed in each other and not generally disruptive to other tourists.

5. Young families - We congratulate the effort and expense it takes to transport a family and expose young children to culture. However, they are generally the most annoying tourists. Strollers are bulky, children are easy to trip on, and parents are often too distracted.

6. Spanish - "[They are] loud, obnoxious, and say stupid things," says a Spaniard who some of us know and love.

7. Independent travelers - These travelers vary in group size and age. They tend to wander away from hot tourist spots. They are often lost and can be found in a corner trying to discreetly handle a map and peek into a guidebook. Their reasons for traveling also vary, but their overall intention is to absorb as much culture as they can. Younger members of this group try to milk all the discounts and try very hard not to get duped as foreigners. Stupid pictures often result from their voyages.

I convinced Sarah to pose for a 'stupid picture' in front of one of the great Peterhof fountains.

Conclusion

Essentially, every tourist has their positives and negatives. We have found that overall, there are certain characteristics that extend through all types.

- Every group has a straggler; one who doesn't hide the fact that he or she is tired and makes no effort to catch up with the others.

- Almost all buy some form of souvenir, whether it's an expensive piece of jewelry or a kitschy captain hat that says "I Love St. Petersburg" on the brim.

Because I'm pretty sure we already have a captain's hat back home, I bought my own (for my nephew when he's older than 3) useless souvenir--a toy representing the Russian version of Winnie the Pooh.

- 90% of digital point-and-shoot camera owners take pictures of everything. Of that percentage, 1% will actually remember what they shot. 80% will show these pictures to an uninterested audience.

- Esperanto is (supposed to be) an international language that's easy to learn and understand throughout the world. It's not.

NOTE- If you are not learned in the art of the Esperanto language, we highly recommend that you learn either the local language, some form of English, or how to decode hieroglyphics and other symbols.

A menu from a popular coffee chain that reads 'Breakfast with gruel.' Highly appetizing.

A sign from the Peter and Paul Fortress in St. Petersburg that forbids guests from: holding demonstrations, sell things without permission, walk your dog or other animal, walk on (or off) the roof, play a musical instrument, walk around in a banana hammock, ski or skate, litter, build a bonfire, go around drunk, ride a bike, or knock trees around. This only makes me wonder WHY they had to be so specific.

Vladimir and the Golden Ring

While in Moscow, we took advantage of our proximity to the Golden Ring and headed out to Vladimir on a four-hour bus trip. While the city is super important to the birth of Russia and also a UNESCO site, it was not really a foreign tourist-friendly city.

A camera will never ever ever ever be able to capture how big this country is. Even in a small city (about 315,000 inhabitants), the land was vast.

Vladimir was a good way to give my visiting American friend a quick introductory course to Russian culture outside of Moscow. In my lessons, she was:

- Navigating a Russian bus station's bureaucracy (physically less scary than any bus station in the US)

- Riding a second-hand German bus without air conditioning in heavy Moscow traffic

- Riding trolleybuses

- Seeing Russian houses and country houses (dachas)

- Learning about how flashy Russians can get

To me, this hotel epitomizes modern Russia.

This is the outside to the hotel 'Gladiator' located 10 minutes outside the city center by public transportation. The bus stop was 10 minutes away by foot and we had to go through old Russian houses to get there.

Don't let the name 'Gladiator' fool you because the decorations were inspired by the Middle Ages, nautical life, combat arts, and the disco period.

In the hotel's restaurant is a two-story dining hall complete with a lit dancing floor, disco ball, stripper pole, piano, and medieval crests.

(Above two) Of course, this is what makes a hotel Russian: A traditional Russian banya and a Finnish sauna.

A wooden ship on the banister displaying the tasteful nautical theme also found in the hotel. The door behind me leads to a hookah and billiards room. This was down the hall from our room.

"An American in Moscow" by George Gershwin

I hate traveling. It's stressful, scary, and tiring. You have to worry about schedules for transportation or attractions; scams against tourists/foreigners; staying within your budget; and keeping busy. It's hard! When I first came to Russia, I wanted to settle in and feel comfortable with the country before traveling. Winter came soon after and I wanted to be indoors as much as possible. I didn't go home like I was supposed to because I wanted to see Russia when it got warmer. Well, it's over 80 degrees F now, so I it was logical--I had to (read with a breathy, enthusiastic tone) start traversing the vast and exotic lands of Russia. I don't like traveling compared to relocating, but I will take what I can get and I'll go just about anywhere.

Last Wednesday, I was a snob. I was not very enthusiastic about visiting Moscow or St. Petersburg because many people (Russians and foreigners alike) told me that it's "just another big city" and that it "isn't real Russia." After only spending a few days in Moscow, I couldn't disagree more.

A fire show in Bolotnaya Square.

On my first day here, Andrey (my host) told me that we were going for a walk in a park where strange people gather. That didn't scare me for some reason. He was not exaggerating. With all due respect, walking through this park (Bolotnaya Ploshad) was like walking through a zoo/carnival sideshow and literally watching all sorts of people from Moscow's subcultures. There were emos, punks, goths, hippies, and bikers hanging out in their respective places but living in harmony. When the sun went down, life got interesting and there was fire. People from different subcultures were dancing, breathing, and playing with fire. We sat there in a hypnotic trance for a couple of hours just watching the glow.

On a walk in Tsaritsino Park, I found that even the gates were decorated with locks. This was also a popular spot for wedding parties.

Russians are romantic and sweet. Not so far from Bolotnaya Square is a foot bridge with metal trees where newlyweds place locks with their names and wedding date. The symbolism is a bit strong, isn't it? You can choose whether or not it is a positive or negative metaphor.

The fountain in the middle of Tsaritsino Park is the grandest fountain I've ever seen. It only matches with the grand feeling you get when you walk through the park. It's a little cheesy because the background music is a mix of pop, but the water display is great. This wasn't even the main attraction in this park.

Finding Tsaritsino park was accidental and perhaps one of the luckiest things that happened to me in Russia. It's a huge park that was meant for royalty as a vacation spot, but Catherine the Great didn't like it too much so she stopped its production. Everything in that park is beautiful.

Moscow's parks are very impressive. They are what every city park should be like. The grass is lush and green. The ambiance is perfect because it's so peaceful--exactly the break any urban dweller needs. Moscow is old and rich with history, but somehow, the new and the old pair well together.

Just like most things in Russia, they go all out with the decorations and colors. The flowers are bright and happy--and they aren't even in full bloom yet. This was taken at Bolotnaya Square.

The Kolomenskoe Estate grounds display exactly what I mean about old and new structures melding well together. From this site, the backdrop is of the city and modern buildings. This particular structure is a piece of the Church of the Ascension, a UNESCO site. Look for it in the future as I plan to commission my palace with designs in this style.

Moscow is a city with historical landmarks, but don't forget that it's still a city.

In a few days, there will be a motocross event outside of Red Square and behind St. Basil's Cathedral.

Seal, Matisyahu, and the Wu-Tang clan will tour through Moscow, too.

Needless to say, Moscow shocked me completely and I am absolutely impressed (because of everything this city has to offer and because I had misjudged the city). It is a huge city and it is Russian without a doubt.

A trip to the post office (guest post)

One of the worst experiences in terms of public services in Russia is the Post office.

Yesterday, I tried to send the above parcel full of books, magazines and various papers back to France (I can't afford the 22 euros per extra kilo of Czech Airlines). So, what did I do? I went to the department of the Post office specialized in sending parcels. There, they told me I had to open the whole box (very well taped, of course) because they had to check what I was sending. I told them it was only books and it turned out I had to go to an other department to send books (??). So I went to that other office, waited in line for half an hour (short line), filled in three different customs forms and the lady told me that I had to weigh the parcel and then buy stamps and then come back to the counter. Ok. So I went to the scales but the maximum weigh was 2 kg (4 lb) which meant I had to go back to the first office to weigh my parcel (10 kg/22 lb by the way).
THEN, I came back to the second office (the one that is supposed to send books, are you still following?), waited in line for an other half hour only to hear this: "for books, you can't send more than 5 kg (11 lb) at a time, and it has to be only books, and they can't be in a box" (????). At that point, I really wanted to cry. I gave up and took the box back to my apartment in the hope of finding an other way to get it home (which I did).

So what's the moral of this story? Never ever travel with a lot of books.